Parents who pay child support often worry that the money is actually being used for the needs of the children, rather than their ex-spouse.
Alimony is designed to cover needs such as food, clothing, housing, basic medical care, etc. In addition to a base amount of support, parents may also be expected to pay additional amounts for extraordinary medical care, private schools, sports and other activities, etc. In some states, parents can also be ordered to pay all or part of college costs.
So what if the receiving parent spends the money on themselves, instead of the children?
Usually it doesn’t matter. As long as the children are not neglected, the receiving parent does not have to account for how he spends the money. Some costs, like rent or mortgage, utilities, groceries, etc. they are partly for the children and partly for the parents. It would be unreasonable to ask a parent to account for every penny when so many of these “mixed costs” are involved.
Sometimes the paying parent decides to give the money directly to their children, especially if the children are teenagers and need money for gas and entertainment. His reasoning is that at least they know the children get the money.
While you are free to give your children whatever you want, keep in mind that paying them directly does not reduce your obligation to pay your ex-spouse. Remember, he or she is paying the rent and buying the groceries.
The best course of action is to pay your spouse the amount you owe and think of that money as being used for the children’s expenses and basic household expenses. Assume that any “pampering” or luxury your ex-spouse receives is paid for with his own money. Whether this is true or not, believing it will benefit her attitude and state of mind immensely.