Unlike emotional bonds, arousal is not caused by a specific person or by a relationship. Arousal is based on being able to see a person, to some extent, as an object. Arousal is achieved when the mind focuses on objects or concepts that a person finds exciting. The mechanisms of arousal (erotic arousals) involve physical attributes and the psychology of a setting or a lover.
Men naturally view attractive women as objects that provoke arousal. Women accuse men of being sexist, but this is how male sexual psychology works. Men can suppress their comments if they accept that women are offended by them, but they cannot change their innate sexual responses. Men can love a partner and still see them as a sexual object. Men are generally not turned on by a relative because of the emotional significance of the relationship.
Women’s caring instincts mean they empathize with others. Men are more emotionally detached, which helps when men need to kill, as well as in sexual settings. Their sex drive causes men to respond to erotic rather than emotional stimuli. Men, who are natural hunters and have a strong sex drive, cannot afford to feel empathy for their victims or their lovers.
In times past, acting was not a respectable (or even safe) occupation for a woman because any woman who exhibited herself (without implied nudity) was seen as a target for male attention. Later, the actresses were associated with prostitution. Women’s activities have often been limited because men view them as sexual objects. Women don’t want sex like a man does. Men have not suffered in the same way because women do not see men as sexual objects. Similarly, sex with a woman is not something that most men try to avoid.
Men enjoy trying different positions for intercourse. The disadvantage of the missionary position is that it does not allow a man to see genital action. Men are turned on by watching their own erect penis during masturbation and enjoy watching their penis enter a lover’s body. Women find graphic images crude, obscene, and unexciting.
Women tend to see people purely in a social and relational context. A woman lacks this ability to view a lover as a sexual object. In a real life sexual situation, a woman is aware of her lover as a social person she loves. When masturbating, a woman is turned on by scenarios unrelated to her real-life lover and their sexual relationship. A woman has to consider surreal erotic themes in order to consciously generate the equivalent mental arousal that a man needs for orgasm. This mechanism does not work in a sociable context.
Women’s sexual fantasies involve taboo subjects and engaging in surreal sexual activities with complete strangers. Women use fictional men in their fantasies who can be depersonalized and turned into sexual objects to be used for arousal rather than human beings with their own emotional needs. Women’s fantasies provide a mechanism for women to objectify men. The men in women’s sexual fantasies are not men they have known or are in a relationship with. These fantasy men represent male sexual desire or an erect penis that is part of a penetrative sex scenario.
In fantasy, a woman can imagine herself simultaneously as a giver and a recipient. Women’s fantasies are surreal because, in the absence of any sex drive, women must focus on the more indirect consequences for women that arise from men’s sex drive. The use of fantasy allows a woman to be both the woman and the man on stage that penetrates the woman. You can focus on male ejaculation as a means of producing your own sexual release.