This week, let’s talk about the little extra you need to go from an ordinary guy to an extraordinary guy, and for our examples we’ll use the idea of the sales pitch and how it relates to attracting women. Let’s say you’re going into business. Regardless of what you sold, wouldn’t it be easier to increase sales if you had built-in customers who wanted what you had? They would call or go to your store and ask about your products, making your life easier and increasing your success rate.
In the world of dating and women, most men are on the wrong side of the sales game. They see themselves as a fairly common product with a lot of competition, cold calling, and aggressive sales. And while quality women have plenty of men to choose from, men could really “upsell” if they had a little attitude change. Personally, I like to sell anything that has built-in demand. It’s much easier to move products that people are already interested in than it is to go door to door.
Translate this to dating: It’s so much easier to “seal the deal” when you can get a woman interested in YOU already, rather than the other way around. You must be able to draw her to you and gain her interest, even before you meet her, and even more so after you meet her. Have you ever thought about ways to flirt with women in public or online, and thought, “Man, every guy has probably already tried this or that idea! I need something different!”
That’s the same thing salespeople go through when they’re working on their sales pitch. “How can I make myself and my product STAND OUT from the competition?” So let’s think about this: Quality women and attractive women get hit on all the time. What will set you apart from the 5 or 6 guys who have already approached her today? All of these guys are selling the “pretty common product” (lots of regular guys) and doing the cold calling (reaching out and trying to convince her that she’s interested).
How many times have you felt like THAT guy? “If I could convince her to take an interest in me…” Just like in sales, any successful businessman knows that in order to get a customer to choose him and his products from the crowd of the competition, he has to stand out. , to be different. and offer something unique. What really hits him is when he offers the real deal, when the product is genuine. So one thing is to pretend and another thing is to live it.
There are many things you can do to stand out and be different from the competition. And I wholeheartedly encourage you to fake it until you make it. This is how we learn, by doing. And it’s not as important as you might think. There are a lot of ordinary guys out there. It just takes a little more to go from ordinary to extraordinary. This little extra, or lack thereof, shows up in everyday life, and always when it comes to the truck.
For example: Have you ever seen a woman at, say, the grocery store that you wanted to meet, but didn’t approach her because you weren’t “prepared”? I mean, you were running to the store to buy a couple of things, you hadn’t showered, you had a pair of sweatpants, some flip-flops, a Christmas sweater and a baseball cap. You really need access to a razor and a toothbrush. Yes, we have all done that.
Now consider that in the same store there is a man who has a great pair of jeans, polished shoes, maybe even worked out today and feels good about himself and his appearance. He’s definitely taken a shower, and his clothes not only match, but they’re like, “I didn’t wake up and get off the couch.” He may not be more handsome than the guy in the sweatpants, but he definitely has a better chance of the woman noticing him first and finding him interesting first. He’s definitely up for an interaction with her, if only because he got up 30 minutes before the guy in the sweatpants and left the house with some self-respect.
Or as I like to say, he did a little more to set himself apart from the common guy. And the ordinary type is the common product. The hard sell that women see all the time, every day. In all other respects, these two types may be exactly the same type. But which one is apart? Which has the best selling point? Easy: the guy who did the little extra.
In this scenario, you can see that it doesn’t take much effort to do a little more to give you the edge over the competition. One of my personal rules is to NEVER leave the house “unprepared”. For example, I always have some kind of pen and paper or digital equivalent for contact information. And I learned the hard way to always take an extra 5 minutes, or more if necessary, to fix my appearance before I walk out the door. Face it: you never know who you are going to meet and what the day will bring.
In business, the great businessman is ALWAYS in sales mode. At dinner, at the store, at the club. Always moving and shaking, always differentiating itself from the competition by being different. And be prepared. And folks, it’s EASY to be different. It doesn’t take much at all. Once you have the necessary attitude, everything begins to fall into place. I’ve talked to hundreds of men who had the wrong attitude toward dating and women: that women are the buyers and men are the sellers. That somehow women held all the cards and had all the options.
And it didn’t matter if this was true or not, the fact that these men believe it makes it so for them. Guys, you can’t go into a sales negotiation desperate. It is best to have a product that your customer is already interested in.