Christmas is a precious time for many of us. It is about family, special relationships, home and sharing together, as is clearly demonstrated by the many advertisements that echo this message at this time of year.
A new couple, just starting their life together, may want to bring some of their family traditions with them; the people who must be invited, go to Christmas Eve carols, midnight mass, the local pub before dinner, watch the Queen’s speech. All are welcoming and reassuring ways to carry on family traditions and import a feeling that “all is right with the world.”
But over time, those delicious and comforting traditions can lose their effectiveness, or there can be a conflict between the different desires of each one. Getting the whole family together for Christmas dinner can lose its appeal as our own family grows, the work and expense involved increases and we want to do something different/easier/change.
Chaos can ensue when a change in tradition is suggested. It can be seen as divisive in some families to suggest an alternative way to spend the day. But if your own family is expanding, growing, moving, unavailable, it’s important to find other ways to stay connected.
And traditions change. There was a time when many people did not eat meat on Fridays. It was intended as a penance; going without that staple food was a sacrifice and it mattered. There was a time when ‘everyone’ went to church on Sundays. These days, modern life offers many alternatives to meat and going without it is a choice that many make every day. And Sunday church is not so central to the lives of many families.
Many of our Christmas traditions have gradually evolved as more options are required or available. For some it is easier to go out to eat on Christmas Day, sharing the effort and expenses together. With more single-parent families, step-parents, and people living far away, it has become reasonable to select alternate days to celebrate Christmas dinner together.
Yes, some Christmas traditions are lovingly preserved. Preparing a carrot cake, mincemeat, and a glass of sherry for Santa Claus can be essential even years after he’s stopped calling. ‘We always decorate our tree, we use these ornaments, we visit the grave’ may still be an integral part of your Christmas, but leaving some traditions behind can help alleviate the stress and guilt others may feel if they are torn between what they want and what they should. do.
It is important to keep the spirit of Christmas while allowing traditions to evolve. New traditions may emerge to ensure you have a very Merry Christmas!