Do you ever leave a date thinking, “Why didn’t I do that?” or “Why did I do that?” I know I have, on multiple occasions. If you’re getting ready for a date right now, your brain is probably racing with all sorts of ideas and questions. I have been there recently too. I’m tempted to wish dating were easier. But the truth is, I want dating to stay adventurous. I just need to plan ahead and prepare for it. Here are some tips and first date etiquette that you can always apply. Don’t be too arrogant thinking you can improvise. First impressions are important because you only get one shot.
Since I started dating, I’ve had some wonderful first dates and some I don’t remember because they were horrible. The sad thing about the ones that went wrong is that I planned the date. If I was the director and the music didn’t flow, I can only blame myself. It might have been different if you had to trust Google in the past. Although I didn’t, so I learned from my mistakes and others.
Be confident – Remember that she already said YES
First dates are hard! It can be terribly intimidating. You find yourself doing a Google search for First Date Tips. And that’s probably how you got here. Remember this, she already said YES. She didn’t agree to a first date with the guy next to you or some other stranger or your alter ego. She asked her and she said yes. That’s the hardest part, but now you know that she wants to meet you.
Focus on your positive traits. Your qualities. The attributes that your friends and family love and enjoy. Don’t be afraid to ask them for reminders. Take them to the table and she will enjoy your company. She leaves the negative thoughts at home and go out like you.
Rent, Rent, Rent
If I’m asking out a stranger or a girl I don’t know very well, I like to plan a date that isn’t too involved. Both in your wallet and in your time. You will want to talk, laugh, exchange ideas and beliefs. This can be done over coffee, happy hour, or something similar. Sparks won’t always fly, and if they don’t, it will be easier for both of you to part ways. If sparks fly, you can easily suggest something later.
If we are already friends, I prefer to plan a date that is longer than an hour. Have a great dinner and a fun night out taking a walk, playing games or even a day adventure like kayaking or hiking. She is your friend so you should know what she likes to do. Now just plan it, meet her, and treat it like a first date for all the other first date tips here.
When I was a dating newbie, I remember planning dates where I suggested a meeting place and that was the extent of my plan. We would meet and start walking in a straight line… sometimes heading west.
Keep your expectations in check
Don’t go in expecting too much. During or after the appointment, ask yourself these questions. How was the conversation? Did it flow naturally? Was it your type of conversation? We laugh? Was there more than physical attraction? Do you want to see her again? There may have been some discomfort and that’s okay. You’re both nervous, so give him the benefit of the doubt.
dress to impress
Dressing for the occasion is dressing to impress. If you’re taking her out to a nice restaurant for dinner, then wear casual clothing or a collared shirt and skinny jeans. If you are going to kayak, don’t wear a suit, wear a bathing suit or shorts. No matter the occasion, stay presentable, groomed, get a haircut, put your phone on vibrate or turn it off, spritz on some cologne, and stay clean. Remember – First impressions.
When I was 18 I once put off getting a haircut and ended up cutting it myself 2 hours before the date. I think a part of me thought I didn’t need one and in the last few hours before the date my hair started growing 3 times faster. Let’s just say there was no second date to put things off. I’ve heard that it’s best to cut your hair a week in advance so you don’t get tan lines and know how to style your hair.
Manners
Be courteous to her and everyone else who crosses your path during the date. After telling her that she looks beautiful, you probably don’t want to be guilty of excessive compliments, so try to compliment her on her. Complement her outfit, hair or personality.
Chivalry isn’t dead: it may seem like it is, so you’ll need to revive it.
Open the door – all doors – car, restaurant, carriage, roller coaster, submarine…
Pay everything – Remember, you planned the date. Don’t even bother asking him about splitting it.
When I was 17 and on my second date we ran into a guy she knew. The problem was that he didn’t know she knew him, and this guy and I didn’t like each other. Our interaction, which was not polite, then turned awkward…
Arrive on time
If you’re going to be late, it better be because Godzilla is wandering around town. Don’t let it be because you forgot to refuel or time for traffic. Every second you are late she is waiting for you. Do the right thing and be on time. It’s part of showing respect – towards her.
Beliefs, Passions, Faith
These are normally a part of your core. If during the date you start to feel uncomfortable and wonder if this is a red flag, it probably is. For example, I’m a Christian, so it won’t work if she’s an atheist or a Buddhist.
Follow up
Forget those stupid rules like waiting 24 hours or 2 or 3 days before telling him how much fun you had. Letting him know the next day doesn’t mean you have to plan the next date right then and there. You are just letting him know that you enjoyed his company. If she did too, she will contact you and the second date can be scheduled from there.
These are just a few first date tips that should help you prepare for your date. Relax, take a sedative, don’t be afraid, don’t load yourself with caffeine, ask for advice and meet her.