Lately, I’ve heard from a number of parents who are struggling to help their children deal with anxiety. This anxiety is often triggered by fairly common occurrences. Examples of these triggers include things like going back to school after missing a few days due to illness, putting on braces, or having to perform at a school recital.
Does your child complain of stomach aches? Does your child have a lot of headaches? Does your child curl up into a ball and want to hide from the world? Are there a lot of tears when it’s time to go to school?
These are all signs that your child is struggling with stress. It means it’s time to teach your child ways to manage and deal with stress and anxiety.
Here are 5 easy ways to help your child deal with stress (oh…and they work for parents, too!)
1. One of the easiest ways to relax is to BREATHE. Most of the time, our breathing is quite shallow. We only use a small portion of our lungs. To help your child relax, ask her to place her hands on her abdomen and take a deep breath so that her abdomen pushes her hands out. Ask them to take 5 nice deep breaths. Encourage them to repeat this throughout the day. Deep breathing increases the amount of oxygen entering your body. This slows their heart rate, lowers their blood pressure, improves their concentration, and helps them relax. This is something they can do anywhere, anytime, and without any equipment.
2. Another easy way for children to relax is by meditating. There are many ways to meditate. You can find guided meditations for kids on YouTube or iTunes. You can also go to my website and subscribe to my free eGuide for tips. If you and your child are new to meditation, why not try a laughing meditation? Prepare a bowl of soup of laughter. Ask your child to hold an imaginary bowl in her hand and throw out as many funny thoughts as she can. You can also add some! Have them stir it up and then drink their soup straight from the bowl. Tell them to feel those funny thoughts move through their bodies and make them laugh. Of course, this works much better if you play along and create your own soup of laughs. Laughter is a great way to relax, boost the immune system, and enhance the connection between you and your child.
3. Visualization is another great way to help your child relax. Here is an example for you to read aloud to your child. Take your time, pause from time to time.
Get in a comfortable position. Close your eyes. Take 4 nice deep breaths. Feel your body relax. Now imagine yourself floating on an air mattress in the ocean. The waves rock you gently on the mattress. The sun shines on you, making you feel warm and relaxed. There is a slight breeze so it doesn’t get too hot in the sun. If you want, you can roll on your stomach. The air mattress is transparent. You can see many colorful fish swimming below you. Every once in a while, you see a turtle pass under you. Sometimes they stop and look at you, almost as if they are greeting you. You feel very relaxed. Out of the corner of your eye, you see something swimming towards you. When you turn your head to look, you see a beautiful dolphin making its way towards the air mattress. The dolphin stops and looks at you. It’s as if he’s telling you that he’s glad you’re here and hopes you’ll come back to visit often. You spend a few more minutes enjoying this quiet place. When you feel ready, you can take 4 nice deep breaths. Then wiggle your fingers and wiggle your toes. When you feel ready, you can open your eyes.
Ask your child about his experience. They may want to draw what they saw. Let them know that they can visit your special place any time they want. They can change where they go in their imagination. The sky is the limit.
4. Talk to yourself. Ask your child what he tells himself. Do they say things like I can’t do math, or that I’m dumb, or that I’m not pretty? Help them change their internal dialogue. Examples: I am calm. I can do math. I am beautiful. I learn new things quickly and easily.
5. Exercise. Take a few minutes to dance around the house with your child, go for a walk, or kick around a soccer ball in the yard. When you exercise with your child, you both reap the benefits, as well as creating a deeper connection with your child.
Play around with these ideas. Try one thing every day. Keep in mind that side effects include a happy, healthy child and a closer relationship with you.