I’ve already talked about how looking for something outside of the relationship is a bad strategy. The 29th reason why you can’t find love depends 100% on something external to the couple. When you step back and watch, it can border on abuse.
The 29th reason you can’t find love is that you think pregnancy will keep your partner. Or do you think it will create love between the two of you.
I have already described how a lack of relationship skills is a formula for failure. Relying on a child to make your relationship work is a bit childish. It sure is an example of not being responsible for creating the relationship you say you want.
A relationship is between 2 people. When you two bring children into the world, it is in your best interest to bring them into a loving environment. When you assign the child the responsibility of creating a loving environment, you are asking a child to do something they have no idea how to do. Perhaps that is why this strategy fails in so many cases.
Reason number 29 is an example of how people try to use surrogates to make the relationship work. For others, they believe that the gifts make it work. Even more believe he takes exotic vacations. The list goes on for substitutions. What is ignored is that one or both people have no idea how to make the relationship work. Unfortunately, substitutions simply buy time for the inevitable. Failure! Breaking off! Divorce!
Having a child in the hope that they will save your intimate relationship is irresponsible. Allow one or both of you to sit on your butt and wait for someone else to make things work. While men have been known to engage in this behavior, most women believe that her pregnancy will cause the man to care enough for her to stay. In many cases, it does the opposite. The man feels trapped and becomes resentful. Instead of bringing a child into a loving environment, they are born into a resentful environment. Should he be considered abuse? Why would you intentionally bring someone into a hostile environment?
Instead of looking to outside things or people to save your relationship, understand yourself to realistically know who is compatible with you. Before you do that, don’t have children.
That was #29 and I’ll be back with more.